How to Help the Betrayed Spouse Heal From the Affair
Blog / 04/25/2012

How to Help the Betrayed Spouse Heal From the Affair By Kajay Williams   The betrayed spouse can find it incredibly difficult to get over the affair, even if both parties are willing and ready to work on their relationship. They often feel that their spouse is completely unaware of what they have done to the relationship – and the betraying spouse can often feel impatient that their partner hasn’t forgiven them yet. This attitude can really damage a relationship, and the preoccupation that a betraying spouse can have with their own feelings, rather than their spouses can make it much more difficult for the wronged spouse to heal. There are a number of things that the straying spouse can do to help the betrayed spouse to heal from the affair, and some of them are outlined below. The betraying spouse should be patient The unfaithful spouse often feels like they are ready to move on from the affair much earlier than the wronged spouse. When the betrayer is “finished” with the affair and when they have told their spouse about the affair, they often want to stop talking about it – to move forward, get over it and put…

What Choices Does Straying Spouse Have After Discovery of Affair?
Blog / 04/18/2012

What Choices Does the Straying Spouse Have After the Discovery of the Affair? By Kajay Williams   The straying spouse has a number of options following the discovery of the affair by their spouse. Some of these options are very damaging and can potentially lead to a number of broken relationships – while some of these options can lead to a stronger, more positive primary relationship. Outlined below are the five options that a straying spouse has after the discovery of an affair, from the most potentially damaging to the least damaging, and most preferable option. Choosing to leave the marriage for the affair partner This is the most damaging and the most hurtful choice that a straying spouse can make after the discovery of their affair. It will devastate the spouse and could actually damage them for years to come, making them afraid of intimacy in case they get hurt again. Any children involved will be utterly devastated and will feel alienated from their parent – and they will forever feel upset that their parent chose someone else over their own family. It is also incredibly difficult to have any type of relationship, good or bad, with your ex-spouse…

How to Respond to the Betrayed Spouse’s Triggers
Blog / 04/11/2012

How to Respond to the Betrayed Spouse’s Triggers By Kajay Williams   After an affair, it’s very common for the betrayed spouse to have a number of triggers that cause them immense hurt and pain every time they occur – for example, certain locations, actions, words, events and places can remind the betrayed spouse of the affair, bringing back those feelings of betrayal, hurt and pain. Triggers such as these can cause the betrayed spouse to steer clear of doing certain things or of going to certain places so that they don’t have to be reminded of the affair – and as such, the straying spouse has to respond to those triggers accordingly so that they don’t rule the marriage. Here are some strategies for responding to the betrayed spouse’s triggers. Recognize Possible Triggers A straying spouse that wants to successfully rebuild their marriage will recognise that any places, activities, locations or objects that were associated with the affair could potentially be a source of immense hurt for the betrayed spouse and they will try their hardest to either shield their spouse from these triggers, or to let their spouse work out how to deal with those triggers. Let the…

Feelings of a Betrayed Spouse After the Discovery of the Affair
Blog / 03/31/2012

What Are the Common Feelings of a Betrayed Spouse After the Discovery of the Affair? By Kajay Williams   An affair can feel like the worst possible thing to ever happen to a relationship. Discovery of an affair can leave you feeling totally isolated and alone and it can also make you question everything you ever thought about your spouse and your relationship. But the truth is, after the discovery of an affair, there are some common feelings that most betrayed spouses will experience. Here are some of them. Anger Anger is one of the most common feelings of a betrayed spouse. It’s also a very reasonable emotion to feel after the discovery of an affair as your spouse treated you very unfairly. Anger can be mixed up with all sorts of thoughts and emotions, such as “Why has this happened to me? This is so unfair”. Anger is a common emotion, but it is also common for anger to develop into something more – aggression, or feelings of aggression. The betrayed spouse may harbor secret fantasies of confronting their spouse’s lover, and they may even fantasize about being violent towards them. In extreme scenarios, the betrayed spouse may actually…

Can Separation Save A Marriage?
Blog / 03/15/2012

Can Separation Save A Marriage?   Sometimes, married life may become extremely stressful and the couple may find it miserable to live together. When this happens, some couples wish to have a trial separation which may help to work through the difference between both the partners. In some cases, separation is prohibited by cultural or religious rules and they prefer to live apart though legally remaining married. The question is that can separation save a marriage and does it really work? There two ways of marriage separation, either informal separation or legal separation. Generally, informal separation is what you both agree by a mutual understanding. There is a formal division of the property, arrangements about possession of cars, credit cards and bank accounts. A legal, formal separation is more complicated, permanent and expensive. People undergoing the process of legal separation go through time, pain and expense. Generally, separation is not the first step to save a marriage. Many couples first try to participate in marital counseling which may help to work through the differences. Some couples seek out an advice from the friends, family or religious leaders. Many people are successful in resolving their marital problems after participating in couple…

How to Recover When Contact With Affair Partner Is Unavoidable
Blog / 03/12/2012

How to Recover From an Affair When Contact With the Affair Partner Is Unavoidable By Kajay Williams In most cases after the discovery of the affair, it’s usually preferable that the wayward spouse cuts off all contact with the affair partner in order to move on and recover from the affair. This is one of the steps usually recommended by relationship experts in order for the straying spouse to prove to the betrayed spouse that they are serious about moving on from the affair and that they are serious about rebuilding the marriage. But sometimes, contact with the affair partner is completely unavoidable – perhaps if the straying spouse works with their affair partner. This unavoidable contact can really cause problems in the relationship if the straying spouse doesn’t handle the situation properly. However, there are a number of things that the wayward spouse can do to help the betrayed spouse feel more comfortable with the situation, and some of these are mentioned below. Change the parameters of the relationship When a wayward spouse embarks on an affair, they view their affair partner as a number of things – lover, confidante, friend – sometimes even a “soul mate”. But when…

What To Do If You Suspect Your Spouse Is Cheating on You
Blog / 03/10/2012

What To Do If You Suspect Your Spouse Is Cheating on You By Kajay Williams   Your instincts are telling you that something is not right – your spouse has been distant and cold towards you and they’ve been spending more and more time at the office. You might suspect that they’re having an affair and you’ll probably be experiencing all sorts of emotions – fear, anxiety, confusion and betrayal. It can be very tempting to come right out and accuse your spouse. But the important thing to do is to keep calm – and before you jump to conclusions, get proof. Everyone is Innocent until Proven Guilty To start with, you need to remember that everyone is innocent until proven guilty – your spouse included. Despite your suspicions, if you have no concrete evidence of the affair, such as an item of clothing, a suspicious voicemail message or a receipt for a hotel stay, you can’t go straight to your spouse with accusations of cheating. If they’re innocent, they will be very hurt by your accusations. If they are having an affair, chances are, if you get angry and make lots of wild accusations, in turn, they will become…

How to Forgive Yourself After the Affair
Blog / 02/18/2012

How to Forgive Yourself After the Affair By Kajay Williams   Forgiving other people can often be easier than forgiving yourself. We are all harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else, which can leave us feeling depressed and down in the dumps – and if you don’t forgive yourself, you’ll never be able to get rid of those negative emotions. Getting caught up in an affair is the last thing that many people think they’ll do. And once you get out of the affair, it can be very difficult to forgive yourself for your actions. Numerous emotions swirl around in your head, such as shame, guilt, anxiety and even depression. These negative emotions can make it really difficult to move on from the affair and start to rebuild your confidence. But you can forgive yourself after the affair – here’s how. Remember that Everyone Makes Mistakes The first step in forgiving yourself after the affair is to remember that everyone makes mistakes – and that’s exactly what your affair was. It wasn’t the end of the world – it was a mistake, and even though it was a big one, everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are actually necessary for…

How to Heal From Betrayal By Journaling
Blog / 02/05/2012

How to Heal From Betrayal By Journaling By Kajay Williams   Betrayal is devastating. When someone cheats on you, they betray you and the trust that you had in them. This betrayal can make you question everything about your relationship and not only that, but also your entire life. The shock of the betrayal can also make it incredibly difficult to move on, as you feel in a state of shock – and this can make you feel completely numb. Betrayal can also mean that you go through a grieving process – either for your relationship, for your partner or for the life that you had before the betrayal. All of these negative emotions can leave you feeling incredibly depressed and confused as to how you can possible move on from the betrayal. One way to get on the road to recovery and healing following a betrayal is to chronicle your emotions in a journal. It might sound a little bit strange, but seeing your feelings written down on paper can really help you to come to terms with the betrayal and move on from it. Here’s our guide to healing from betrayal by journaling. Find a Safe Place To…

5 Ways to Save A Marriage
Blog / 01/23/2012

5 How you can Shop A Marriage   Marriage is likely one of the happiest and memorable moments in our lives. It’s a union of now not best two individuals, but in addition of two completely different upbringings and cultures. After a contented begin of married existence, there could be a possibility or starting of some conflicts. These may be because of some misunderstandings, ego or different personal problems. Infrequently the bitterness within the relation crosses the tolerance degree that the couples think of getting separated. On the other hand, a divorce affects the private and social lives of both the partners. You’re going to be surprised to grasp that your marriage issues can be resolved. listed Here are 5 the right way to retailer a marriage that can be successfully applied for your married life. Step one to get to the bottom of the marriage problems is to agree that they exist. You must be sincere with your self, will have to be capable to determine the variations on your relationships and check out to beef up them. If your attempt to go away from the problems, they’ll never be solved. Accept the situation as it’s and be prepared…