How to Avoid Workplace Infidelity During the Company Holiday Party
By Kajay Williams
It’s very common for an extra-marital affair to start at the office – after all, the straying spouse can be a completely different person than they are at home and there is plenty of opportunity to meet new potential partners. The company holiday party is apparently one of the most common places for an affair to start – one study found that affairs are more likely to start at the company holiday party than at any other time of year, while another estimates that around 54% of holiday party-goers will get intimate with another co-worker at the party. If you suspect that your spouse is involved in an affair – or if you want to prevent an affair – it’s important that you accompany your spouse to their company holiday party.
Insist on going to the party
Many betrayed spouses say that their straying spouse told them numerous lies about the company holiday party – including the implementation of a “no-spouse” rule by their company, that the company was not having a holiday party and that they were not attending the office party but were instead going out with friends. It’s important to insist on attending the holiday party so that you can act as a deterrent to any affairs – even if your spouse tries to ban you from attending.
In reality, most companies are very “family-friendly” in that they support the institution of marriage – meaning that they will most definitely want to let spouses come to the Christmas party. It would be highly unusual for a company to actively ban spouses from the company holiday party, so if your spouse tries to use that excuse, tell them that you think it is a lie. If your spouse doesn’t seem to want you at their holiday party, make a point of getting to the bottom of why they don’t want you there.
Accompanying your spouse to the company holiday party will deter an affair in a number of ways, and these are listed below.
It will prevent an emotional affair from turning into a full-blown affair
If your spouse has been flirting with a co-worker for a number of months, your appearance at the office party could prevent that flirtation from turning into a full-blown affair. With free-flowing drink, inhibitions are lowered and the office party is, unsurprisingly, where the person who has their eye on your spouse will make the first move. If you’re there, they won’t have the chance.
It will make your presence known
Remember that your spouse may have been dishonest at their office with regards to their marital status. They may have told co-workers that they are single, or they may have been flirting with one co-worker in particular, telling them that their marriage is on the rocks – which may be news to you. If you attend the party, co-workers will suddenly be aware of your presence. They’ll also know that your spouse was lying about your marriage being on the rocks – which should prevent them from embarking on an affair with them in the future.
It can prevent the actual act of cheating
A survey by Trojan showed that around 33% of those questioned had actually had sex during or after the company holiday party – so if you attend, your presence could help to deter the actual act of cheating. After all, your spouse is not actually going to have sex with someone else if you’re there.
If you’re worried that your spouse is already having an affair
If you already have a nagging suspicion that your spouse is involved in an affair, going to the office party could help to confirm – or deny – those suspicions. Watching your spouse carefully and how they interact with other co-workers, particularly co-workers of the opposite sex, should let you know whether or not they are doing anything at the office that they shouldn’t be.
If one co-worker in particular seems surprised that you are attending or finds it difficult to meet your eyes and they regularly steal glances at your spouse, it could mean that something is going on between the two of them. However, if everyone acts entirely “normal”, and you don’t spot any stolen glances, red faces or awkwardness, it could mean that there is nothing untoward going on.
If your spouse bans you from attending or lies about whether spouses can attend
Instead of getting very angry – and pushing them straight into the arms of someone they might end up having an affair with – why not suggest going for a drink with them before their party? You could meet them from work, go for a quick drink and then walk them to their Christmas party. Alternatively, suggest meeting them from the party to go for dinner or a quick drink. You could also offer to pick them up at a certain time. If your spouse says a flat “no” to either of these ideas and insists on making their own way home – or tells you that they are planning to stay at the office or at a friend’s house, it’s worth thinking about what this could mean for your relationship, as it could indicate that they are already cheating or that they are planning to cheat.
If you are worried that you will cheat at the company office party
If you’ve been flirting with a co-worker for a while and believe that the office party might be the time that the flirtation turns into something more, you should remember that it doesn’t have to turn into more. Why not skip the party altogether and spend some quality time with your spouse? Alternatively, if you’re attending alone, make sure you eat plenty beforehand, drink a glass of water for every alcoholic drink and sort out your ride home before the party. That way, your inhibitions will likely not be lowered to the point of danger and you won’t be tempted to stay on at the party when everyone else has gone home. The ultimate way to prevent cheating at the office party – and after – is simply to attend with your spouse.
What To Do If Your Partner Is Having An Affair?
Time To Act: There is hope.
An affair may be the best thing to happen to a marriage or relationship.
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