7 Reasons Why Women Cheat
By Kajay Williams
The reasons for cheating seem to differ widely from woman to woman. But dig a little deeper and you’ll see that the underlying reasons for women cheating on their partners tend to be very similar; they are looking to fill an emotional need, looking to use their new partner as a means from escaping their old partner or even just because they are hard-wired to want to seek the best genes for their future children. In this article, we explore the common reasons for women cheating on their partners.
1. Emotional Void
Research suggests that women are more likely to have an affair due to an emotional reason, rather than a sexual reason. According to Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, women tend to have an emotional connection with their extra-marital partner, and they are also more likely to have an affair due to feeling lonely. Winifred Reilly, a licensed marriage therapist, says that women often tell her they have cheated on their partner because they just wanted someone to “look into their eyes and make them feel sexy again”.
The difference between men and women is that women tend to be unhappier in their relationship when they cheat on their partner, whereas men tend to be happier in their relationship when they cheat. Only 34% of women who cheated were happy in their marriage, compared to 56% of men.
2. Prime Genes
Theories surrounding the behavior of early humans suggest that women often had two mates. The first mate would provide healthy, prime genes for their children, and then when the women went to gather food, they would find another mate, effectively giving themselves an “insurance policy” – i.e. another man that would help them raise their children if their first mate were to die.
Helen Fisher states that women who slept around and who had more than one mate were likely to have more food and added protection and resources from her different mates. Helen also believes that women may have had children with more than one mate to create “more genetic variety” in her family, increasing her chances of keeping her family line alive and well if one or more of her children were to die.
A simple, but very motivating factor for some women to cheat on their partner is revenge. If a woman finds out that her partner is having an affair or has cheated on her, she may decide to wreak revenge on her partner by seeking love and affection from elsewhere.
4. Using a New Partner to Get Over an Old One
Another possible reason for a woman to have an affair could simply be because she wants to end her current relationship, but is too afraid to do it without the “life raft” of another partner. Women may seek out love from a potential new partner whilst they are still with their old partner, so that they won’t be alone following the breakdown of their previous relationship.
For some women, they may want to have an affair simply as a means of comfort. This is much more likely after a stressful life event, such as a death in the family, losing a job or having a child go off to university. She might want to seek comfort outside of her relationship in the form of an affair or a one night stand because her husband might not be able to provide her with the emotional support that she needs during the period of upheaval.
6. Cry for Help
Winifred Reilly believes that some women have affairs simply because they want their husbands to notice them. For example, if they know that their marriage is heading towards divorce or if they feel like their husbands no longer love them or pay them enough attention, a woman may have an affair and then tell their husband or partner about their affair – or even allow their husband to find out about their affair by finding evidence of it – as a means to point out that there are problems in the relationship.
7. Lack of Sex
This is a common, if unusual reason for a woman to want to cheat on her partner – simply because there is a lack of sex in the marriage or relationship, prompting them to seek that sexual intimacy from elsewhere.
Generally, women tend to have an affair because they are looking for something – whether that be validation of their attractiveness, emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, comfort, for their husbands to notice them, to get revenge on their partner or simply because they are looking for a way to get out of a bad relationship – but according to Winifred Reilly, “women don’t easily have affairs”.
What To Do If Your Partner Is Having An Affair?
Time To Act: There is hope.
An affair may be the best thing to happen to a marriage or relationship.
Contrary to popular belief, experts say that many couples survive infidelity and are able to rebuild a stronger, better and more fulfilling marriage after the betrayal.
Whether you suspect your partner or spouse is cheating on you or whether you have just discovered your spouse’s affair or whether you are wondering if you want to save your marriage or opt for separation after an affair or whether you want to redefine the boundaries of your relationship or marriage to make sure you and your partner are on the same page, I can help you.
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